Starkville’s House of El Podcast

Somewhere off the shores of Metropolis, there sits an enchanted castle, which looks classic on the outside, but built like a 1960’s Batman set on the inside. This is the lair of Amanda Waller and Checkmate. She looks at the chessboard and decides to take out the knight. Another chessboard appears in Tess’s office, and again, the knight is down. This throws Tess into action, as we see in her office that there are not only various weapons scattered about, but she actually has an escape hatch.

Tess is disguised in a La Femme Nikita wig as she pensively walks the streets. First, she is followed by the FDA lady from Hell and then Joe Chill steps out of the shadows. A fight ensues, which looks like it was lifted straight from a Guy Ritchie movie. Watch as Joe Chill’s flabby face gets ruptured by La Tess Nikita’s fist. The fight attracts the attention of Green Arrow, but IT’S A TRAP!

At Watchtower, Chloe is worried because of a surveillance blackout where Green Arrow was last seen. When the cameras come back up, Clark sees that John Jones (do you think he spells it J’onn J’onzz?) is investigating the crime scene. We have a funny moment where Chloe turns to talk to Clark but he has supersped to the scene on camera. John is being secretive about why he is there, so Clark x-rays him and sees an earpiece with an incredibly easy-to-read serial number on it. John is upset Clark did that and takes off. Um, literally.

In an armored van racing to Checkmate’s headquarters, Green Arrow is handcuffed to a chair. Tess is considering taking his sunglasses off to see who he is, but Waller pops up on screen. Tess leaves as Oliver wakes up. Waller welcomes him to Checkmate and Oliver says, “I don’t remember signing up for chess club.” Waller tells him he is being forced into recruitment to work for the government. When she is done, Oliver has picked his way out of the handcuffs and pulls some explosives out of his costume to blow the door on the van, which he rides to safety. Doesn’t anyone frisk these heroes anymore? Tess certainly deserves the screamfest that Waller gives her later.

Meanwhile, John has hunted down the man who belongs to the earpiece. Probably because manhunting is his specialty. The guy is actually a CEO living a double-life, working for Checkmate. Apparently he has been scared into loyalty to them because he poisons himself as John interrogates him. John scans his memory for clues and sees flashes of Waller, a rook and the castle. Oh, hey, that’s interesting. A rook IS a castle. Nice. Wow, these chess metaphors are pretty neat…

Chloe has tracked down who the earpiece belongs to, just as Oliver shows up. Clark has an awkward moment as we see a blonde-on-blonde nuzzlefest. Oliver gives them the rundown about Checkmate, and Chloe links that to who Sylvester Pemberton was scared of several weeks ago. But when they get back to business, Chloe discovers that the owner of the earpiece is dead and he is last seen with John Jones. Clark whooshes off. Chloe decides to check on Icicle’s whereabouts at the psych ward at Met Gen because he may be connected to this as well. Oliver wants to go but Chloe insists he hang up his tights for the evening. Then Oliver insists they are not tights.

Oliver shows up at the Luthorcorp Shareholder Dinner at Luthor Mansion, where he greets Tess. At this point, I’m baffled that they have not recognized each other. I knew Tess didn’t know Oliver was Green Arrow from the van scene, but I didn’t think Oliver didn’t recognize Tess in the wig. But then again, in a world where a man will soon hide his world famous super-face with just a pair of glasses, it’s not totally unbelievable. But in a scene reminiscent of Batman Returns, where Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle discover each others’ alter-egos by repeating some lines they said “in costume”, Tess and Oliver figure each other out.

As Clark follows the clues from the morgue to Tess’s office, John Jones has already infiltrated the castle. He discovers the blood slide Lois acquired from Bernard Chisolm’s House of Horrors and Waller shows up, asking who he is working for. When he doesn’t give it up, she traps in flames. Meanwhile, Chloe has a gadget fight with a shifty doctor at Met Gen. As she remote scans his PDA, he pulls off a COUNTERSCAN, which just is made even more silly when the LED lights on his PDA show it in big bold letters. Oh yeah, and we get yet another chess piece – a pawn. I guess they must think of Chloe as a pawn to get to The Blur at this point.

Oliver has to defend himself against more tights accusations from Tess. Oliver really had some funny lines tonight. Especially when she throws a knife at him, and he informs her they are not in a cartoon. Cheesy inside jokes like that are so much more palatable than the barrage of chess metaphors we got. Clark zips in and grabs Tess, and in a flash, he is dangling her off a building. By now, Smallville viewers are realizing that when it comes to Clark interrogating Tess, there is no good cop.

Tess tells Clark, after begging for her life, that she is a part of Checkmate, Amanda Waller is the White Queen and she first involved Tess in her first days at Luthorcorp, because she wanted information about Lex’s alien investigations. However, she never told Waller about Clark or the Kandorians. In fact, something called Watchtower is actually the target. DA DA DAAAAAAAA!

At the castle, John tricks a guard into freeing him from his flame cell. Clark shows up in Waller’s office, shrouded in darkness. Waller admits to not being a fan of the costume. Has anyone this season told CK that his dark threads are kicking? I don’t believe one person has. If anything is going to get him to go back to the red and blues, it’s going to be peer pressure. Anyway, Waller tells him that Checkmate needs his help to stop an alien invasion. He has a choice to be with them or against them. And, uh, if he says “against”, Chloe’s head will be ventilated. She makes him step out of the shadows and lectures him about something that seemed to be a metaphor for chess as well. These Checkmate folk need to get a new game to make metaphors about. Seriously! “You wouldn’t have a Chance at getting Free Parking even if you won 2^nd prize in a beauty pageant, Mr. Blur! Mwahahahaha!” Oh wait, Monopoly is more of a Lex game. He’s the one that’s all about the real estate.

Waller wants the identities and locations of all the Justice League members from Watchtower along with Clark’s loyalty. She also lectures him on how vulnerable his greatest asset, Chloe, is. But then, the power goes out. Clark uses his super hearing to figure out where in the castle the guard is, and then begins one incredibly creative action scene. The problems with the power in the castle started this strobe effect, so the whole fight was seen in flashes. I really dug it. In fact, I ended up rewinding the DVR to watch it again. The best part was the last bit after the guards were taken out. You see Clark face to face with Chloe as he checks to see if she is alright, they stare at each other for a moment, and in the next flash, they’re already gone. Excellent job, Smallville!

Back at the Watchtower, Clark is freeing Chloe from her handcuffs. I don’t know how far away that castle is, but could he have put her down for a moment during the run home to make her wrists a little more comfortable? Clark is feeling guilty, but not because of the handcuffs. What Waller said hit home for him, and he apologizes to her. She understands because she knows she has been acting a little unorthodox. Not that she admits that she has a weapons cache to defend against the Kandorians or anything, but the two are now a little more honest. But Chloe is still worried that Waller knows who they are.

The next scene, conveniently enough, we see John erasing the memory of Amanda Waller. He has also destroyed the blood slide, too, effectively putting her in checkmate. Oh great, now I’m doing it, too! We also see Tess beg for Oliver’s help at a coffee shop, but he turns his back on her because he can’t trust her. I swear, as evil as that woman can be, I still feel bad for her. Look at all she’s had to put up with between Zod and Clark and now Oliver.

Back at Kent Farm, Clark is relieved to hear that their identities are safe. But he is still haunted by Waller’s words as it is concerned with the Kandorian problem. Eventually he might still need to choose a side. John reminds him that he is here for something much greater than this. Clark asks him who he is working for, and John tells him that sometimes things aren’t always black and white. Like a chessboard. Ugh.

At the end, Amanda Waller is upset that her plans have been foiled by people she can’t remember, but is intrigued to find a red queen sitting on a lone chessboard. Is it game on, or off with her head?

All in all, an excellent episode. Lots of action, funny lines and good stuff to write about – all I can ask of Smallville. So, who do you think is the Red Queen? I know I have one idea, but I just don’t see her as the covert government ops type. Maybe her time away from the show changed her……

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 at 2:45 pm and is filed under Reviews. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.