tariel22 Reviews: “Eternal” Part 2
In a Smallville episode that should have been titled ‘Retcon’, “Eternal” was an episode with a lot of history, and a lot of future.
tariel22 shares with us her thoughts on why the episode worked in part 1, and why it didn’t in part 2.
You can also weigh in on the episode at our new SHoE forums or give tariel22 feedback directly here!
All the times Smallville’s Eternal made me say, WTF?
The first time I watched Eternal, I liked it, but I had a LOT of questions. So I did my homework. I rewatched parts of the Pilot, Lineage, Skinwalker, Memoria, Talisman, Traveler, Veritas, Quest, and Arctic. I even dug out my Bible and read up on Judas. And then I watched Eternal again. And the second time was even worse. I thought my head was going to explode. I mean, seriously. They should have called this episode Retcon.
Between the continuity conflicts, the contrived plot points, the OOC behavior, the heavy-handed attempts to tug at my heart strings, and the bizarre dialogue, this episode drove me CRAZY. But still, there was a lot to like in there, too. So I decided to let it all out, and then let it go. Maybe then I could find the joy in this one. So in the interest of therapeutic catharsis, here is my list of all the WTF moments and quotes from Eternal. Did any of these bother you, too?
1) Once again we have pictures (drawings, this time) of events that no one but the viewing audience could possibly have been there to see. That’s just sloppy, Smallville.
2) Um, show? If you want me to sympathize with your woobie villain, don’t show him emerging from a pod and forming out of a substance that looks a little too much like puke. That doesn’t exactly humanize him for me.
3) Clark: “You need to print it!” hee! Okay, I LOVE Clark in this scene, but let’s get real. He would be so fired. Well, if his boss weren’t totally fascinated with him and his alien origins, anyway.
4) So Chloe and Davis are best buds, hanging out and being all cutesy funny with each other? They’re kind of adorable, but this is the relationship that cost Chloe her marriage. Ramping up the intimacy in the aftermath seems wildly inappropriate to me.
5) Jimmy’s a big jerk who sends abusive emails now? Fine, show. I still like him better than Davis.
6) Chloe: “I thought we were best friends, but obviously there was some stuff brewing beneath the surface for awhile.” Beneath the surface?! Jimmy’s insecure jealousy has been his defining characteristic since the day we met him!
7) Chloe: “How can you be so close to someone, and not really know who they are?” Oy, with the irony already!
8) Davis cuts his finger with a knife, and it’s covered in blood, which Chloe wipes away to reveal no cut at all. Davis says, “Quick reflexes, huh?” and Chloe looks at him suspiciously. Then Clark bursts in, and that’s the last we hear of it. Did Davis’s words satisfy her? Did she forget all about it? And isn’t Davis supposed to be invulnerable to knives after Bloodline anyway?
9) Why is Clark running to Chloe for information on a story? Hasn’t he been doing his own research for a while now? I suppose Chloe could have been doing some kind of hacking for him, but it just seemed like a contrived way to get them together so they could argue about Davis.
10) Chloe: “Since when did newsworthy have anything to do with what was on the front page?” Was that a dig against Clark, or the Daily Planet, or journalism in general? In any case, bitter much? What’s that about?
11) Chloe: “No, please, I love trudging through stagnant water.” Huh? What does that mean? And what’s with the attitude?
12) Chloe: “He’s kind, supportive, and a strong shoulder for me to lean on. Which I don’t know if you’ve actually realized, but I could really use right now.” He’s also creepy, intense, and kind of a stalker. And since when has Clark not been there for Chloe when she really needs him? Weren’t they having a nice little heart-to-heart over coffee just last episode? Has Chloe even tried opening up to Clark? When he asked her about Jimmy in Turbulence, she lied and said everything was great. Is he supposed to read her mind?
13) Clark: “He’s full of secrets, Chloe. There’s not even a record of his childhood.” Chloe: “Sounds familiar.” Is she saying that he sounds like Clark, and that’s a reason to back off? Because Clark is an alien. From another planet.
14) So first we found out Lex kept a journal, and now they tell us Lionel did, too? And Tess has them both? How convenient.
15) If Lionel had a whole team of commandos combing the countryside after the meteor shower, why did he have to hitch a ride with the Kents to get Lex to the hospital? And why didn’t they take the ship when they took Davis?
16) In the Pilot Clark tells Lex he remembers when the mansion was first moved to Smallville, that the trucks rolled through town for weeks. Lex in turn tells Clark that Lionel has never stepped through the front door. And yet here the mansion is, fully furnished and occupied, just a few days after the meteor shower.
17) Davis can speak and read English already?
18) Yeah, the woobie little boy who kills birds doesn’t get my sympathy either.
19) Miller’s Field sure doesn’t look anything like the way I remember it from Obscura.
20) Were Davis’s memories of his days at the mansion repressed before?
21) Oh, come on!! Why in the hell would there be a meteor rock in the lead box?! And doesn’t Lex receive that box on a birthday that’s still several years in the future?
22) Judas? Christ? Really, show? You’re going there? Have you read the story of Judas? Because that analogy doesn’t work for me at all.
23) Clark: “And all the times that you were angry at me for doubting him!” Have they been arguing endlessly about Davis in Offscreenville?
24) When Clark and Chloe figured out that Jimmy was right all along about Davis, I hope they at least called him to let him know. And I hope Chloe apologized for not believing him in the first place.
25) Chloe knew it was Tess who had checked out Davis’s records and she didn’t think that was worth mentioning until now? And if she didn’t know who it was, how did she make the connection to Tess all of a sudden?
26) Chloe: “I think it’s time to pay a visit to the widow of LuthorCorp.” Widow? What’s that supposed to mean?
27) So once Lionel found out about Clark, he figured Davis was just a random naked human boy who lost his clothes in the meteor shower and ended up huddled next to Clark’s ship? Um, okay. So why would he just dump him on the side of the road, when Davis could lead the authorities right back to him? Why not pay someone off, and bury him in the foster care system?
28) Davis is Sageeth? Oh, hell no. Lex is Sageeth. According to the legend, Sageeth is like a brother to Naman, but later turns against him, and together they form the balance between good and evil in the world. That’s not Davis. And do you even remember the Starblade, show? I’m not buying it.
29) Tess: “Why else would Lionel Luthor arrange an adoption for a boy who seemed to come out of nowhere?” Last time I checked, so he could blackmail Jonathan into helping him get the creamed corn factory.
30) Tess: “Looks like you’re the reason Davis was abandoned in the first place.” Oh, bite me.
31) Davis: “That guy, that I killed, he was a drunk driver, he was a three-time offender.” Okay, you get a pass on that one, then. It’s not murder if he deserved it. [/sarcasm]
32) Chloe: “You lied to me!” Because that’s way worse than the killing part.
33) Why doesn’t the proximity of the gigantic tank of kryptonite have any effect on Davis? Or Clark, for that matter?
34) So Davis was dooming out even as a child? Yikes. Was that a repressed memory?
35) You know the part where Chloe sank to her knees next to the containment unit, weeping, and reached out in anguish to meet Davis’s hand, palm to palm, for one last, tender touch through the glass before he slipped away? I felt NOTHING. Yeah, evidently I’m dead inside.
36) Chloe: “I won’t risk the safety of the world because of your code of ethics.” So it’s not about Clark, it’s about the world? I don’t have a problem with that, but I think it’s new.
37) Why did Clark throw those cave pictures into the fire? Didn’t they belong to Chloe?
38) Clark: “When I was a kid I used to have this nightmare. My ship landed in a field and no one ever found me.” Except that Clark didn’t know about the ship until he was in high school.
39) Chloe: “That nightmare was Davis’s life.” Oh, boo hoo. He’s a freaking monster, Chloe! Do you even remember your wedding day?
40) Clark: “I can’t imagine what it must have felt like knowing that, no matter how you lived your life, you were doomed.” I don’t think Davis knew that. Based on what we saw earlier this season, Davis didn’t know who or what he was until Faora showed up. Although I suppose Clark doesn’t know that.
41) Tess: “Yeah, but betrayal. You know, the more you love someone, the harder it is.” Is she talking about how much Lex loved Clark?
42) Clark: “Are you threatening me?” With what? Where did that come from? I’m so confused!
43) Is the Talon still open for business? Or is it just where Chloe lives, throws the occasional party, and stashes monsters in the basement?
44) Oh, yay. Another woman martyrs herself to protect Clark. Promise redux. Doesn’t Chloe remember how that worked out for everyone? On the day of the wedding Chloe said to Clark, “She’s marrying a monster and trapping herself into a loveless life.” Deja vu.
45) Exactly what is the deal between Davis and Chloe? Why does she keep the beast at bay? I just don’t get it. *sighs* And please tell me “stay with me” is NOT a euphemism for sex.
46) Is anyone else getting the feeling that Chloe is the new Lana?
Well, I feel better, how about you? Thanks for letting me vent! Now I’m off to write a happy Eternal review, celebrating everything I found to love in this episode.
1. Not necessarily. Lionel did spend a lot of time possessed. So did Lex for that matter. Who knows if they knew what they were drawing or even understood it?
2. The humanizing supposed to last forever given his destiny.
3. Well, Tess did tell Clark to stop just seeing her as his boss, didn’t she?
4. Inappropriate maybe, but not unrealistic. When you’re hurting, the tendency is to immediately turn to someone, that’s human nature.
5. Sorry, but after what Chloe did to Jimmy in the previous episode, I’d have a few choice words for her, too, if I was him.
6. Jimmy may have been jealous of Clark, but he kind of had a reason to be, didn’t he? Chloe was no saint either about Jimmy’s friendship (when that’s all it was) with Kara.
7. Smallville has always and will always be written that way. Part of its charm.
8. Obviously, Chloe just didn’t want to discuss it with Clark. And who says getting stuck with one knife in the stomach made Davis impervious to being stabbed or cut in *any* location?
9. Wait…Smallville features frequent contrivances? Really? LOL
10. Who says that was a dig against anything. It’s pretty common knowledge that some stupid stories get on the front page. I think you’re reading a bit much into that.
11. Chloe’s always spoken in “Chloeisms” ever since the show began. And she’s always been a bit sarcastic in her deliveries. Why does this suddenly seem out of character?
12. Um…Chloe *is* a woman, you know. Pleas tell me you’re not suggesting that women who want men to read their minds and know what they need without having to ask is something out of the ordinary.
13. She’s just saying that everyone has secrets, even Clark, so that’s no reason to immediately mistrust him because Clark is an example of a good person with secrets.
14. Well, let’s think about this: Lionel we already knew had a journal. And how was Lex NOT ego-maniacal enough to have kept one himself? Wouldn’t you need one to keep track of all the shady things he was involved in? Now, when Lex killed Lionel, he naturally got all of Lionel’s things. And now that Lex is gone, too…well…makes sense to me.
15. The Kents might have been the first people he ran into when he found Lex and time was of the essence. As for the ship, maybe once they had the kid they thought they were after, they didn’t care about it anymore. Technology was never Lionel’s fixation so much as Lex’s. He just wanted the traveler.
16. How do we know it’s only a few days? And how do we know how Clark’s memory works and how far back he remembers? He is an alien after all.
17. He was attached to Clark’s ship…surely he could have absorbed the same knowledge on the trip that Kal-El did, right?
18. Again, I don’t think they’re trying to make him wholly sympathetic.
19. Different angle / been a few years, etc.
20. He mentioned frequent blackouts several times during this season. Losing whole chunks of his life. So it’s possible, yes.
21. Who knows? It was Lionel’s. And if he thought he had the traveler, he might also have known that the meteor rock would control him…or thought so. And who says the box was bought new for Lex’s birthday? He could have been passing down an heirloom.
22. I have to agree that the Judas analogy is odd, but being blunt about a religious analogy is fine by me. I don’t know why this turns so many people off.
23. So what if they have? It’s pretty obvious that the show isn’t in real time, so naturally, there are things we don’t see.
24. Again, maybe they did, we don’t know yet because they haven’t come back to Jimmy.
25. Chloe has *always* used her best (or worst) discretion on when to divulge things that she knows. Again, it’s not exactly out of character.
26. Lex is presumed dead? Again, it’s a Chloeism. Doesn’t make 100% sense, but it sort of does.
27. Surely you’re not arguing that Lionel’s actions – or reasonings for things he done – have always made sense. Who knows what he thought about Davis, the point is once he realized he had the wrong boy, he tossed him aside like garbage – as a Luthor would do.
28. Okay, Lex is Sageeth. Just because the characters offer up a theory doesn’t make it so. Don’t forget, none of them separately have the knowledge that we do from our vantage point.
29. Well, that was his cover story anyway.
30. Again, this show has always had characters say things that make Clark feel guilty in one way or the other, nothing new there.
31. Well, Davis isn’t exactly *supposed* to sound rational, now is he?
32. Chloe may very well sympathize with being a killer while under the influence of a power you can’t control, you know.
33. Who knows how shielded that tank is? That’s like asking why humans can handle plutonium.
34. Again, he’s mentioned blackouts several times.
35. Hmm…can’t answer that for you.
36. Yes, obviously it is. You did see the end of “Hex”, right?
37. Eh, yeah, I guess that was pretty rude, but that’s a pretty off thing to even notice if you ask me.
38. Yeah, but when he was a kid he had a nightmare about it – even though he couldn’t understand *why* he was having that nightmare since he didn’t know about the ship. Makes sense if you ask me.
39. And Chloe has a long history of sympathizing with monsters, the last example of which was taking over The Isis Foundation.
40. There you go. Solved your own problem.
41. “It’s Guylove Between Two Guys!” LOL
42. It’s a human expression, and it also may have just meant to be a bit funny and ironic given who Clark is.
43. We don’t know – they haven’t shown the main floor of The Talon in a long time, so I guess anything’s possible.
44. Obviously, Chloe’s motivations with Davis are the whole mystery going into the end of the season. I wouldn’t profess that it’s martyrdom until I see where it’s going.
45. Well, obviously he is either in love with her or thinks he is, but again, I think these are questions we’ll get answers to later. Must every show be self-contained? Since when are unanswered questions annoyances? Do yourself a favor and don’t ever watch LOST.
46. Not in a million years.
Now, people, I actually do have a life and I really shoulnd’t have done this, but I did for three reasons…
1. People are WAAAAAAY too critical of this show. It is supposed to be FUN, people!! It’s about an alien who landed on Earth and who can shoot “frickin’ laser beams” out of his eyes and blow doors off hinges and leap tall buildings and stop bullets and hear people from three miles away! Can we all just take a step back and stop trying to pick the bones off of a show that is not and has never even attempted to be taken THIS seriously?
2. I wrote my answers to demonstrate that you can see *any* of these things from a completely different point of view if you simply CHOOSE to suspend your disbelief. If you can’t do that, then again, you’re obviously watching the wrong program.
2. Picky freakin’ picky.
Daniel, I’m so sorry, this version was for people who didn’t like the episode. There’s a shiny, happy version, too! :) Your rebuttals are always welcome, but I think you’re missing the point. Just because I vent doesn’t mean I don’t love Smallville. I was just having a little fun, mostly with the extreme amount of retcon we were asked to swallow with this episode, but obviously I’ve offended you somehow. Maybe I’m not the one who’s taking things too seriously.
tariel22: It was a friendly opposing viewpoint. I was in no way offended by the original review. I was just pointing out that any or all of those points could be explained away if you chose to look at them in a less critical light. Just as you thought it would be amusing to point out all the little things that one could fault “Eternal” for, I thought it might be an interesting exercise to see if I could explain all of those issues away with some clever thinking. I’m sorry if any of my responses came off too seriously. That certainly wasn’t my intent.